As part of a couple, you likely have experienced your share of ups and downs. Typically, arguing is part of those ups and downs. Most people may see arguing as a bad thing, but it really doesn’t have to be. There is a part of arguing that is actually healthy and shows strength in your relationship. Arguing can also show that you feel comfortable enough with each other to share your negative feelings without fear of breaking up. However, there is a point where arguing switches from totally normal and even helpful to dangerous. Luckily there are some things that you may be able to try that can keep your arguing under control and promote a healthier relationship.
Listen More, Talk Less
One of the most important things that you should do in a relationship is to listen to your partner. Don’t just hear what your partner is saying; actually listen to what they are saying. By doing this, you can avoid talking at your partner instead of to your partner. They should, of course, do the same with you. You will probably also find that you are both repeating things over and over again. Obviously, if you are repeating these things, you are doing nothing to solve them. Really listen to your next argument and try to dissect it in order to get to the bottom of things.
Don’t Take an Argument Personally
We tend to forget certain things when in the heat of the moment and one of these things we forget is that we should not take things personally during this time. As much as we try to control it, often times we say things during battle that we don’t mean...and so do our partners. Taking things that were said in the heat of the moment personally is only going to damage your relationship even further.
Winning Or Losing Doesn’t Matter
One of the worst things that you can do during and after an argument is to try to figure out who “won” or “lost” an argument. Honestly, there is no “winner” or “loser” when it comes to arguing. What matters is that you solve your problems and move on from the argument. Constantly thinking about “winning” or “losing” will make you resentful. Holding resentment is like filling your relationship with poison.
The Most Important Tip of All
The most important tip when it comes to handling arguments is to remember that you are a couple. If you want to remain a couple, make sure that you are limiting the arguing as much as possible. If the arguing has gotten out of control, it may be time to evaluate if you should remain a couple at all. Though some arguing is good, as mentioned above, too much arguing, especially negative arguing, can really bring a relationship to its knees.
Taking these tips and applying them to your relationship can actually help your relationship grow and thrive. However, you need to make sure that you do not cross that line and cause your relationship to fail.