Taking responsibility for a misdeed or harmful behavior is a very important component in repairing the emtional bond between people. Often there is a recognition that the individual has committed some inappropiate behavior and they simply want to end the tension that exists.
However, If a person aleviates their guilt with just and apology and there is no explanation/understanding of what happened to them, which does not include an excuse or blaming of the other person, then the " I'm sorry" is hollow.
It is hollow because it tells the offended person that there has been little or no learning by the person who committed the act. What is discouraging for the person on the receiving end is that if the " I'm Sorry" is repeated and then there is no change in their behavior. Ergo there is a high probability that the mistreatment will be repeated.
Not only does an understanding of a person misbehavior help to repair a connection between people it also aids in self-forgiveness for the imperfections we all prosess.
Dr. Pinaud is a registered Clinical Counsellor (BCACC#1992) based in North Vancouver, British Columbia, who specializes in relationship issues that include couples, families, and single individuals who may have had unsuccessful experiences in the past or are wanting to be involved in a long term committed relationship for the first time.
Over 20 years ago, Dr. Pinaud went through a painful divorce. At that time he enrolled in a course called “Rebuilding” by Dr. Bruce Fisher, which became the catalyst for significant growth and sparked his interest in Psychology. As a result he was trained and became a facilitator for this course. This led to the completion of a Masters in Psychology and a Doctorate in Counselling Psychology. The learning and passion for Dr. Pinaud's work continues to grow.