We tend to make assumptions in many communication cycles. See below for my example.
A couple was having trouble communicating. They loved each other and had been together for many years, however recently they seemed to be getting irritated with each other and having misunderstandings.
She said " You don't seem to be excited about fish and chips on Thursday nights anymore, you don't even say, how nice of you to make this again.
He replies" You have been making this dinner for me for 30 years I didn't think I had to thank you every time"
She retorts "I have been making this because I thought you appreciated and wanted it. I really don't like having to make it for you every week"
He replied "I don't really care for fish and chips I was eating it because I thought it brought you pleasure making it for me"
In this example, the couple was trying to please their partner. What didn't happen is that they didn't express their true needs possibly not to disappoint their partner. The incorrect assumption they made of each other went on for years without either of them checking it out.
Dr. Pinaud is a registered Clinical Counsellor (BCACC#1992) based in North Vancouver, British Columbia, who specializes in relationship issues that include couples, families, and single individuals who may have had unsuccessful experiences in the past or are wanting to be involved in a long term committed relationship for the first time.
Over 20 years ago, Dr. Pinaud went through a painful divorce. At that time he enrolled in a course called “Rebuilding” by Dr. Bruce Fisher, which became the catalyst for significant growth and sparked his interest in Psychology. As a result he was trained and became a facilitator for this course. This led to the completion of a Masters in Psychology and a Doctorate in Counselling Psychology. The learning and passion for Dr. Pinaud's work continues to grow.