Conflict is a reality that is going to happen when interacting with others. Conflict can be defined as an upset, a disagreement, an argument, or just opposing views. However, when assumptions and judgments are made defensiveness usually follows resulting in some form of harm to our partner. Quite often this harm does not get acknowledged nor understood and there is little or no repair of the feelings.
These feelings tend to linger and can accumulate internally so when another upset happens the individuals reaction can be an over-reaction to that particular incident. This may be confusing to the person on the receiving end. They simple don’t understand the intensity of the reaction and may feel unfairly or unjustly treated. Because of this belief, which is may have some validity, what I call ammunition, the injured party now has the right to fire back. Now you have an escalating back and forth interaction to support the injured egos. This is unproductive conflict with little learning about ourselves or our partner. We are now too emotionally charged to see what is happening with ourselves and take responsibility.
Dr. Pinaud is a registered Clinical Counsellor (BCACC#1992) based in North Vancouver, British Columbia, who specializes in relationship issues that include couples, families, and single individuals who may have had unsuccessful experiences in the past or are wanting to be involved in a long term committed relationship for the first time.
Over 20 years ago, Dr. Pinaud went through a painful divorce. At that time he enrolled in a course called “Rebuilding” by Dr. Bruce Fisher, which became the catalyst for significant growth and sparked his interest in Psychology. As a result he was trained and became a facilitator for this course. This led to the completion of a Masters in Psychology and a Doctorate in Counselling Psychology. The learning and passion for Dr. Pinaud's work continues to grow.