Your choice of life mate will impact every aspect of your being. It will influence your happiness, career success, health, finances, children, friends, and family, so it’s not a decision you want to take lightly.
Choosing someone that brings out the best in you and adds a sense of joy and ease to your life is essential to your emotional and physical well being.
Many people put an emphasis on the practical aspect of choosing the right long-term partner. These practical matters are founded in logic and include qualities like status, profession, income, and sophistication. In other words, your significant other looks good “on paper”.
On the other end of the spectrum, people concentrate on the impractical traits involved in selecting the right person. Impractical matters are governed by the heart and consist of relationship traits such as fun, adventure, romance, having a soulmate connection and being in love.
When the you base your decision almost entirely on the practical or on the impractical the odds are pretty great that you will choose someone that won’t end up being the best choice.
Like most things in life, it’s the balance of both that brings real success whether it be in terms of choosing the ideal mate or anything else in life.
Choosing a partner whose characteristics strike a balance between the practical and the impractical is essential.
Ultimately, it’s the wisdom of your mind, otherwise known as the practical, in combination with the intelligence of your heart, also referred to as the impractical that will allow you to make the ultimate decision.
The following life partner qualities represent the mind’s wisdom with that of the heart for a lifetime of success in love:
Responsibility: being accountable to one’s self and others in all aspects of life
Generousity: the ability and willingness to give unselfishly in what is said and done
Kindness: true kindness is being authentic and compassionate toward one’s self and others
Chemistry: an undeniable spark or attraction that exists between two people
Shared Values: compatible core beliefs about yourself, others and life in general
Integrity: doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances
Self Awareness: knowing your strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, and motivations
Loyalty: being consistently devoted to your partner and the relationship
Shared Goals: having common goals, aspirations and dreams
In order to make the best possible decision, you will need to be patient and conduct a thorough intellectual and emotional evaluation. In the end, it will be well worth your time and effort; when you choose well you can expect to admire and respect your partner for a lifetime.
Susan Blackburn is a Registered Psychologist providing Individual and Couples Counselling. She is registered with the College of Psychologists of Ontario, a member of the Ontario Psychological Association and has a M.A. degree in Counselling Psychology from the Adler School in Chicago, a B.A. (Honours) from York University and a B.Sc. in Business from the University of Phoenix.
Credentials include being a published author and several guest appearances on television and radio as an expert therapist including That Channel’s ‘Extraordinary Women TV’, the W Network’s ‘Style by Jury’ and Gail Vaz-Oxlade’s (of ‘Til Debt Do Us Part) show, ‘Princess’. Susan Blackburn Psychology