Last week I came across an article that spoke about home remedies to avoid. We’ve all been guilty of passing on old wives’ tales, or at least quoting them. Staunchly held belief, “cures” and remedies handed down through the generations that thanks to science and medicine, many have proven to be little more than punch lines to jokes.
Here are some interesting ones to ponder. Some will make you laugh, while others will make your hair stand on end. Hey, after a week of having bronchitis, I am out to have a laugh.
The Not so Common Cold Sore Remedy
I have never had one, but if I had, I would probably ask my doctor for an ointment. One ingredient I doubt would be in there is earwax. Yes, apparently many still believe that earwax can cure a cold sore.
The Oh so Strange Cure for Diarrhea
Many people swear by ginger ale. Some swear by flour, lemon and water. But this one ranks up there with a cross between “what the?” and “ewwwww!” Cut the lining of a chicken gizzard (no, I am serious!), let it dry. Take the dried piece of chicken gizzard and put it in boiling water and make tea. But here’s the weird part. It’s not for you to drink. You’re supposed to give this to your baby. Moving right along…
Not Just for Smelly Locker Rooms Anymore
Have a sore throat? Take your stinkiest and dirtiest socks (or your son’s if yours aren’t noxious enough) and wrap them around your neck. If you apply salt herring to the souls of your feet, you probably will forget how badly your neck smells. There are no words…
Other Uses for Chewing Tobacco
Have you ever seen a guy (perhaps he was donning a cowboy hat and boots) chewing tobacco and then watch him spit this nasty brown glob out onto the ground? Has that grossed you out? Well, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet, my friends! Pick that yucky, sticky, wad that’s held together with his saliva (where’s my barf bag when I need one?) and place it in YOUR ear. A sure fire cure for an earache. Alternative? Pain sounds great to me!
Ever hear of chocolate-covered garlic? Maybe you have, but you forgot! It’s supposed to cure memory loss. Maybe if you had used it, you would have known that you had heard of it before. Okay, bad joke. I think I am still grossed out by the chewing tobacco and smelly socks.
This One Might not be as Whacky as it Sounds
The next time you are out slaying snakes, because I know you do this often, take the rattler and add it to a jug of whiskey and drink. It will cure your rheumatoid arthritis. So, this may not be too far off the mark. The Chinese have been consuming snake venom for centuries for a number of ailments and they have the lowest incidences of rheumatism. Hey, it’s like the lottery, you never know.
Cuckoos: Not Just for Clocks
Wait until the first sign of spring brings out the cuckoo bird and lie down on your porch, or if you are and attention seeker, try the middle of the street. As soon as you hear the cuckoo, roll over three times. Why? Oh, it’s supposed to cure your backache. There was nothing about how long this “cure” is supposed to last.
Got Bruises? Try this One
Get a hard boiled egg. Peel it and then get a silver coin. Good luck with that second one because most are out of mint since it became too expensive to produce coins from silver. Take the coin and force it into the egg vertically and press on your bruise for 30 minutes. If your bruise is still there, my guess is that you did something wrong because this had some promise to it, didn’t it?
Turpentine Cures Shingles. Extra, Extra, Read all About it!
Isn’t that the same thing that burns the skin and eyes, causes damage to the lungs and respiratory system and renal failure? Suddenly shingles doesn’t seem like such a bad thing if turpentine is the cure.
Oh, the Many Uses of Coffins Containing Dead People
If you like hanging around cemeteries, this might be one you could try out with little or no cost to you. If you have a boil, take a piece of poultice (now how out dated is this one? People use cotton balls these days) and press it on your boil. Hold firmly for a few seconds and then take the poultice and rub it on a coffin – it must contain a corpse for this to work. Is your boil gone? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Who Needs Benzoyl Peroxide When you Have Urine?
Yeah, no kidding. Soak a piece of cotton into your own urine and place it on your zits. Don’t believe me? Your mother taught you well!
Until next time,
Peace, love and vitamin C!
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