Big changes that you have to make in your life make for big decisions. Some people agonize over it and procrastinate. We have all been there. Does this remind you of the conversation we all might have while trying to make a decision?
- Should I?
- Shouldn’t I?
- What if this happens?
- What if that doesn’t happen?
Wouldn’t it be nice to skip this step and jump to where we know that it was the right decision? If only life were that easy. Decisions are hard but not making them is harder. Here is a quick and easy way to make a single minded decision about what it is you would like to do. It’s called visual squash and it gives you an easy way to gain control over the decision making process.
When changing something in your life, you have to look at why you were doing it in the first place. What has anchored you to where you are in your life? For example you want to change your job:
You are not happy with where you work and are thinking about opening your own business.
There is an underlying secondary benefit to staying where you are and being miserable. You know how to do the job you are at and you have a steady pay cheque coming in.
BUT, you do not like what you do and opening your own business would allow you to do what you love but you are afraid of the unknown.
Can you see how this leads to procrastination? Nothing about this process helps you make a decision or move you in the happy direction that you want to be in. It just keeps you going in circles, using up your energy and keeping you stuck in the some place you were trying to get yourself out of. Instead of Healthy Living in this cycle of indecision, try this technique:
- Sit down and have your arms down by your side.
- Put your unwanted behavior or choice in your left hand. Like the example above of your job or you could choose something like smoking. The pain, the agony, all of the things that you do not like about it. And lift your hand and arm up in the air in front of you parallel to the floor.
- Add the secondary benefit such as job security or the stress release associated with taking that time to smoke.
- Keeping your eyes closed, notice how that arm feels, heavy, cold, lazy etc. Just notice with no judgment.
In your right arm and hand I want you to put the new desired behavior such as opening your own business or quitting smoking:
- Think about a time when you had to do something and you thought it was hard but when you did it, it was very easy. How it feels in your Healthy Body, smells taste and any other sensations that arise with that.
- Put that feeling in that right hand.
- Think of a time when you received a lot of praise for something that you did. Feel what you were feeling in your Healthy Body, smells taste and any other sensations that arise with that.
- Put it in your right hand.
- Think of a time when you were not too sure how something that you planned was going to turn out and then it turned out better then you had thought. How it feels in your Healthy Body, smells taste and any other sensations that arise with that.
- Put it in your right hand.
- Think of a time when you were with friend and you were having a great time. Laughing and having fun. How it feels in your Healthy Body, smells taste and any other sensations that arise with that.
- Feel it in your Healthy Body and put that in your right hand.
- Think of a time when you were totally relaxed and comfortable. It could be when you were on vacation and you were so relaxed it was like you didn’t have a care in the world. How it feels in your Healthy Body, smells taste and any other sensations that arise with that.
- Put that into your right hand.
Now open your eyes and look in between your hands. Have your palms facing one another and bring the hands closer together only as fast as you are willing to make a single minded decision to go forward with the new desired behavior (to open your own business, stop smoking etc.). They will only come together as you are ready to say YES! I live my life with this new desired behavior and the old behavior doesn’t control me anymore! I am ready and willing to take on this new desired behavior.
As your hands slowly come together, you interlace your fingers and you will let your hands fall to your lap when you are clear about your single minded decision. Now your unwanted behavior is so far away from you all you can see is your new path.
This is a great tool to have and use whenever you are faced with a tough decision to make about your life or to change something in your life that you would like to change. Our conscious mind likes to be that 2 year old that does not want to change and grow up and it tells you to not go to the gym, or it’s ok to have that ice cream at 10pm. It is our unconscious mind that knows the truth and knows deep down what is best for you. With doing this exercise you allow your subconscious mind to speak and be heard about what you really want and need.
Tackle change. Squash those old habits. Move forward to success!